I have an enormous imagination, creative writing, never-ending curiosity, and joy of life. I like writing, contemplating, snow, winter, and spending time with my mom and aunts--who are my best friends. I like anything fantasy and surreal but I also like hoodies and coffee in front of a fire while the snow falls outside and the sound of snow crunching beneath my boots on crisp cold winter days. I like puppies and blue roses. I love reading and I enjoy knitting. Most of all though, I love imagining, writing, and sharing ideas with other like-minded people.
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PLEEEASEEEEEE tell me your HONEST opinion. You can write it as an anonymous guest if you want, just... honest please.
Hours later, they still sat there, Crys asleep, in Drake's arms. He wiped the last traces of tears from her face, content to spend the night gazing at her closed eyes. It was the sun's early rays on those eyes that awoke her the next morning. “Good morning Starshine,” Drake smiled. “This is getting to be a habit, isn't it?” Crys smirked sleepily. “I don't mind if it does,” Drake grinned. “I'll bet you don't. I'm a lot comfier than you are,” Crys retorted, poking at his muscular stomach. Drake grinned and flexed proudly. “Show off,” Crys muttered, rubbing her eyes. She yawned and sat up, blinking tiredly. She was slightly irritated to discover that Drake hadn't once removed his eyes from her. “You can just give me five cash entrance fee if you're going to keep staring at me like an early morning freak show attraction,” she grumbled. “You look so adorable when you wake up I could squish you and put you in my pocket to look at whenever I want.” Crys tilted her head and looked at him. It was the way he said the most awful things in such a simple way that made them hit her heart full force. “Yeah well I'd look a lot cuter with some scrambled eggs in my mouth and coffee in my stomach.” “Somehow I doubt that.” Crys showed her hand like cat would show its claws. “Feed me.” “Yes ma'am!” Promptly, Drake sprung up from the ground, picking Crys up and throwing her over his shoulder as he made his way back to the safe-house, Crys shrieking all the way.
They reached the house at the same time Damon did. “Up already?” he asked Crys, surprised to note that she was wearing the same clothes as the day before. “Sort of,” Crys answered tiredly. “We kind of camped out.” “Without me?! I ought to make you get your own breakfast,” Damon retorted with mock hurt. “Oh trust me, my back's already scolding me. I need a shower,” Crys replied, rubbing her lower back. “You do that. In the meantime, Drake and I will get breakfast.” “I don't think so. You stink after you run.” “Fine. We'll both shower, and then we'll all get breakfast.”
During breakfast, the topic of their return to the underworld arose again. “I won't be able to put it off much longer,” Damon said, taking a sip of his coffee. “I understand,” Crys answered, staring down at her plate. She knew she had to make a decision, sooner than she liked. She pushed back her chair. “If you don't mind, I just need a little time alone; to think.” Damon nodded, and Drake watched her trudge slowly to her room, her bare feet making suction noises on the floor as she walked down the hall. He gave a look to Damon that he could not read. “I feel so helpless,” he finally said, mirroring his eyes' emotions.
Hours later, Crys emerged from her room. Both men repressed the urge to pounce on her. Drake's eyes flashed with worry. She looked exhausted. As if she had spent all those hours in crunches and push ups. She sat down wearily and looked at Damon. “I want you to teach me the ways of a Vamean warrior,” she paused, picking at her fingernails.“without going under the Vamean Warrior procedure,” she finished, looking up. “It will be hard.” “It's the only way to find out why I'm doing it. If I do the procedure now, I will never be able to go back. At least this way I can... I can at least pretend it's my own free will. To help. Not to save myself.” “I understand,” Damon nodded. “When do we leave?” “Right now.”
Many hours later, the car left the main road and drove off into an abandoned wasteland. Thousands of years ago, a battle in the third world war had been fought here, and had been left to rot ever since. The people of the underground had used it to create a passageway for them to travel to and from earth to the underworld. Pressing some levels, the Damon caused the ground underneath the car to slant downward into an opening tunnel underground. He then safely led them to a major head quarter and town in the underworld. “Crys. Wake up. We’re here,” Drake spoke softly, nudging her gently. She stirred, blinked her eyes several times, and looked around her in shock. “How did we get here?!” she exclaimed. “Well that’s what you get for falling asleep, now you’ll never know,” Drake teased. “Oh you!” Crys retorted, shoving him. Even before they managed to get out of the car, they were approached by a man and a woman. “Reid, Danielle!” Drake exclaimed as he was tackled by Reid. “Whoa, wait, hold up. First off, this is Crys, the vamean. Crys, this is Danielle, and this is Reid,” Drake introduced them. Reid was a tall, muscular man with lond hair and striking blue eyes. He had a boyish grin on his immaculate, handsome face. Danielle was several inches taller than Crys, with gorgeous long brown hair and deep brown eyes. Her white teeth sparkled in a big smile. Crys sensed instant friendship. “Hello Crys,” Reid smiled, reaching for her hand. Drake caught an expression on his face that he didn’t like. Damon noticed it and quickly cut in. “Danny, I was wondering if you could take Crys to your place and take care of her for a moment. I have to report to headquarters and I’d like Drake and Reid to join me,” he asked, turning to Danielle. “Sure. Come on Crys, I’ll show you around,” Danielle grinned. Crys turned to look at Drake. “Go ahead. I’ll be right back,” he promised. Hesitating only slightly, Crys followed Danielle. “Well men, there’s a lot to be said, and I suggest we make our way to headquarters so I don’t have to repeat myself. Damon led the way with Reid, while Drake fell behind. He was worried. He had seen how Reid looked at Crys. It was hard enough protecting her from the enemies. How was he supposed to protect her from his own friend as well? Maybe it had been a mistake to bring her. But what else was he supposed to do? He needed to ask Damon for help. His mind wandered back to Crys. The trust was so open in her eyes. She trusted him. There was no way he was going to let her down.
They had been at the underworld for several weeks, before they finally received news of the other Vamean Warriors. Jerome's team had been able to not only successfully track them down, but also convince them to come to the underworld. Drake went out in search for Crys to tell her the news. He found her literally surrounded by books in her room. Piles of them rose in a circle, with Crys sitting cross-legged in the center. His shadow falling on the page made her look up. Her eyes screamed joy when they saw him. “Drake!” she shouted, struggling to get up. “Hey Starshine,” he smiled, opening his arms to her for a hug. She plowed into him. “Where have you been?!” she pouted, her arms still clasped around his midriff. “I've been out doing a lot of stuff these past few days. I'm wiped. You're not the only one in training you know.” “I know, but how come you're training? You don't need it.” “Oh yes I do. Besides that, I've been doing more than training. We've been working day and night trying to find the other Vameans.” Drake sat down on the rug and leaned against the wall with a sigh. “We've finally had success.” “You did?!” Crys exclaimed joyfully, sitting down in front of him. “Yes. We not only found them, but they all agreed to come to the underworld.” “They did?!” “Apparently there are three men and another woman. Two of the men are twins, and from what Jerome said, they didn't need any persuading at all. They wanted to be here yesteryear. Their father apparently told them about the underworld. The other was a little harder to read. Ches confronted him in the open, in a café. He took it all in stride, asked for a few minutes alone, and came back saying he was ready.” Drake paused. “And the woman?” Crys urged. Drake couldn't suppress a grin. “She started verbally and physically attacking poor Vance. Called him a liar and a sick-minded stalker, among other things.” “What changed her mind?” “A few Restok in her kitchen. She actually managed to kill the one with a mail opener, and Vance took care of the other two.” Crys' jaw dropped. “How is she taking it?” “She's taking it pretty well. She berated Vance half the night for not warning her, and not coming in time to kill all three of the Restok, and most certainly agrees that he was telling the truth. Now that she's convinced it's the truth, she is more than eager to come to the underworld.” “You don't seem as happy as I thought you would. I mean, this is pretty big, isn't it? Finding all the Vameans?” Drake looked at her with weary eyes. “In a way it is. But when I look at how big this war is, and what I know is going to come, this is nothing in comparison. With or without Vamean Warriors, we're in for a slaughter.” His eyes stared blankly out the window, before returning to her. “And what worries me most, is how the Restok are always just half a step behind. It was pure luck that we reached you before they did. It won't be long before they catch up and then pass us. We won't keep being lucky.” He sighed and his gaze returned to the window. “Centuries and centuries of vampire history, and it's all boiling down to this one war; these many battles. If the vampires fail, the human race fails. For all this time, we have protected humans. Through every war, we strengthened the side necessary to keep their world from utter collapse. We are the humans' assigned protectors, and without us, they will drive themselves to their own ruin eventually. With the Restok's help even sooner.” Another empty sigh. The same empty gaze. For the first time, Crys couldn't read his eyes' emotion. “We've never known anything but battles. It's what we were made for. It's easy when it's just a job. But when you really care...” his voice trailed into emptiness, and Crys finally identified the emotion. Exhausted worry. Crys' face interrupted his gaze out the window, breaking the emptiness. “You have to care,” she said calmly. “You have to believe there's a reason for what you do. It's hard when you're saving the whole world, 'cause you can't. You're always saving the people you care about. I don't care if you're a supernatural vampire. I don't care if your stupid genes won't let you be weak. You're just as mortal as the next human, and none of us can grasp or carry the weight of responsibility in saving the world. You're not saving the millions of soldiers who died for their country, because you couldn't stop the war. You're saving that one soldier James Ryan, because you were able to stop the bleeding.” Drake was lost in her eyes. He shook his head and cupped her face in his hand. “And here I thought I was saving you,” he said, and then he was gone.
I sometimes wonder why a person's level of Christianity seems to be evaluated based upon how spiritual they are on their weblog.
Bible quotes on your facebook status, "don't worry, God loves you," as a standard reply to "I feel like crap", and lists and lists of Christian artists on "favorite music", with "the bible" as your favourite book.
I don't want to accuse anyone of anything... but it all just seems a little... fake. "oh look at me, I am a Christian!" I just don't feel the need to scream out on my blog how spiritual I am.
It just seems to me that my faith doesn't belong on the web. Not something that needs to be openly displayed for everyone to gawk at.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think faith is something meant to be hidden, or something to be ashamed of. But I don't think it's something to brag about either.
I can understand people questioning my faith because I post pictures of myself drunk on the internet, and cuss and act flamboyant. But I don't. I enjoy talking to my friends, laughing, I have a lot of pictures, all taken in good clean fun. I have several favourite artists listed, some Christian, some secular, all clean. Same with my movies and books.
So why do I feel like I have to talk about how awesome my walk with God is to be taken serious as a Christian? I have a really hard time talking about what I feel as a general rule. Talking about my faith is even harder. I don't like praying aloud. I feel prayer is a personal conversation with God, and it is no one's business what I talk about with him.
I don't mind other people praying aloud. I don't want to say I think they're all show offs for praying long deep prayers in church service.
But I can't. I just can't. I call God my daddy, he knows everything. What I say to him is personal. If I make a mistake, if I sin, then I take it up with him. I know what he expects of me, and he knows I do everything I can to walk right, to live the way he wants. And I know he helps me.
I struggle. A lot. I'm a very blunt person. If I don't like you, you'll know it. I never could stand people who act all nice and friendly and secretly hate you. To avoid that, I say it up front. I guess my biggest problem is that I don't exactly speak the truth nicely. I kind of take after Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, and Anne of Green Gables. Hot temper, big mouth.
That, and I procrastinate. =D Major flaw.
I don't understand how I can give 150 percent at work, work my butt off, and just give it my all, give everything when it comes to friends and relationships, but be such an awful procrastinator when it comes to cleaning and homework.
I know I have flaws. I know what my flaws are. I'm the first to admit them.
So why do I feel so criticized? I feel pressured to talk more about my faith online. Why? Is God going to thank me a better Christian if I do?
I've been trying to expand my boundaries again. Consider things I don't hold for true; think over them. Why aren't they true? Why isn't it possible? I mean... convictions are all well and good... but what use have they when you don't even know why you're so convinced? Stand up for what you believe in, explore your doubts; don't shut them out.
I don't believe love fails. I don't think it's possible to be happy in a relationship with the wrong person.
/Enter equation/ {{Don't=Didn't}} /End equation/
I didn't think it was possible.
Is it possible.
Is it possible to be happy in a relationship, and you just don't know WHAT it is, but something just doesn't feel right? Something is wrong. You just don't know what it is.
A former friend of mine got in touch with me again recently...
she's trying to explore that possibility. Something doesn't feel right, she just doesn't know what.
