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I sometimes wonder why a person's level of Christianity seems to be evaluated based upon how spiritual they are on their weblog. 

Bible quotes on your facebook status, "don't worry, God loves you," as a standard reply to "I feel like crap", and lists and lists of Christian artists on "favorite music", with "the bible" as your favourite book. 

I don't want to accuse anyone of anything... but it all just seems a little... fake. "oh look at me, I am a Christian!" I just don't feel the need to scream out on my blog how spiritual I am. 

It just seems to me that my faith doesn't belong on the web. Not something that needs to be openly displayed for everyone to gawk at. 

Don't get me wrong, I don't think faith is something meant to be hidden, or something to be ashamed of. But I don't think it's something to brag about either. 

I can understand people questioning my faith because I post pictures of myself drunk on the internet, and cuss and act flamboyant. But I don't. I enjoy talking to my friends, laughing, I have a lot of pictures, all taken in good clean fun. I have several favourite artists listed, some Christian, some secular, all clean. Same with my movies and books. 

So why do I feel like I have to talk about how awesome my walk with God is to be taken serious as a Christian? I have a really hard time talking about what I feel as a general rule. Talking about my faith is even harder. I don't like praying aloud. I feel prayer is a personal conversation with God, and it is no one's business what I talk about with him. 

I don't mind other people praying aloud. I don't want to say I think they're all show offs for praying long deep prayers in church service. 

But I can't. I just can't. I call God my daddy, he knows everything. What I say to him is personal. If I make a mistake, if I sin, then I take it up with him. I know what he expects of me, and he knows I do everything I can to walk right, to live the way he wants. And I know he helps me. 

I struggle. A lot. I'm a very blunt person. If I don't like you, you'll know it. I never could stand people who act all nice and friendly and secretly hate you. To avoid that, I say it up front. I guess my biggest problem is that I don't exactly speak the truth nicely. I kind of take after Mark Twain, Charles Dickens, and Anne of Green Gables. Hot temper, big mouth.

That, and I procrastinate. =D Major flaw. 

I don't understand how I can give 150 percent at work, work my butt off, and just give it my all, give everything when it comes to friends and relationships, but be such an awful procrastinator when it comes to cleaning and homework. 

I know I have flaws. I know what my flaws are. I'm the first to admit them. 

So why do I feel so criticized? I feel pressured to talk more about my faith online. Why? Is God going to thank me a better Christian if I do? 

*sighh* 

life is easier in my books. 

*off to Vame Haven* 

--Kett